La Complainte du Progrès

France to U.S., France to U.S. (and Berlin...) : Can you read that little accent over the last "e" in my title ? The French language has been wrongfully amputated if you can't...

Along the lines of lightening up from the deadly heavy stuff in my previous posts, here is a little bit of fluff from Boris (Vian) that my daughter dutifully copied for me so that I could give you a somewhat lazy lump translation. (Boris is NOT the Bard, but he is an excellent modern day French prophet who wrote these delicious lyrics to a cha cha rhythm during the days when I was sucking on my bottle in the seven sleeper's den (thanks to John for that one). Boris was a great jazzman, and a guy who even invented a domain called "pataphysics" in the long line of critique against scientific materialism started by William Blake in his 18th century epic poems.) (My GOD, can you believe it, I just corrected "prophet" from "profit" above... thirty lashes with a wet noodle for such a DEADLY sin...) I'm talking about the 1950's for those of you who may still find my dates rather..obscure from above.

Here it is in French, for the Francophiles among you :

"Autrefois pour faire sa cour

On parlait d'amour

Pour mieux prouver son ardeur,

On offrait son coeur.

Maintenant c'est plus pareil

Ça change, ça change

Pour séduire le cher ange

On lui glisse à l'oreille...

"Ah, Gudule, viens m'embrasser et je te donnerai...

Un frigidaire un joli scooter un automixer et du Dunlopillo

Une cuisinière avec un four en verre des tas de couverts

Et des pelles à gâteaux.

Une tourniquette, pour faire la vinaigrette

Un bel aérateur pour bouffer les odeurs

Des draps qui chauffent

Un pistolet à gaufres

Un avion pour deux

Et nous serons heureux !!!"

Autrefois s'il arrivait

Que l'on se querelle

L'air lugubre on s'en allait en laissant la vaisselle..

Aujourd'hui, que voulez-vous ? La vie est si chère

On dit "Rentre chez ta mère", et on se garde tout...

"Ah Gudule, excuse-toi ou je reprends tout ça... :

Mon frigidaire mon armoire à cuillères mon évier en fer et mon poèle à mazout

Mon cire godasses mon repasse limace mon tabouret à glace et mon chasse filou

La tourniquette pour faire la vinaigrette le ratatine ordures et le coupe friture"

Et si la belle se montre encore rebelle

On la fiche dehors pour confier son sort..

Au frigidaire à l'efface poussière à la cuisinière au lit qu'est toujours fait

au chauffe savates au canon à patates à l'éventre tomates à l'écorche poulet

Mais très très vite

On reçoit la visite

D'une tendre petite qui vous offre son coeur

Alors on s'aide car il faut qu'on s'entraide

Et l'on vit comme ça jusqu'à la prochaine fois..."

My translation :

Once upon a time when wooing,

We spoke of love

To prove our passion

We offered our heart

Now things just aren't the same any more

Gotta keep up with the times

To seduce the dear angel

We whisper in her ear...

"Ah, Gudule, come kiss me

And I'll give you :

A refrigerator freezer a pretty scooter a robot mixer and a comfortable mattress

A stove with a glass oven a stainless steel cutlery service and cake servers

An electric whisker to make the vinaigrette salad dressing

A nice air cleaner to gobble up smells

Heated sheets

A waffle gun

A plane for two

And we'll live happily ever after.

Once upon a time, when we got into arguments

We would take off with a downcast look, leaving the dishes in the sink

These days, what do you expect, life is so expensive

We say "Go home to your mother"

And we keep all the loot.

"Ah Gudule, say you're sorry or I'll confiscate everything...

My refrigerator my spoon case my iron sink my kitchen stove

My electric shoe shiner my slug ironer my ice chest and my thief chaser

The electric whisk to make the vinaigrette salad dressing

The garbage compacter and the French fry cutter."

And if the damsel is STILL rebellious

We chuck her out, to hand over our fate to

The refrigerator the dust effacer the stove, the always made bed

The shoe warmer the potato gun the tomato eviscerator the chicken flayer

But before you can bat an eye

We get a visit from a tender morsel

Who offers her heart

And so we help her out, because we all need to help each other out

And we go on living this way...

Until the NEXT time."

Sorry you can't hear the luscious rhymes and the snazzy cha cha rhythm.

My favorite line is the "tourniquette pour faire la vinaigrette".

You would swear that Iseut has just consented to give herself to Tristan in the Wagner opera...

Boris was a genius. I haven't done him justice here.

You can probably download this song on Youtube. They've got... everything but the kitchen sink there, right ??