The quality of time is debt penitence

Hard times create strong men. Strong men create good times. Good times create weak men. And weak men create hard times. – G. Micheal Hopf, Those Who Remain

Any judges, even those sitting at the European Court of Justice or wherever else, would have the whole world against them, were they to decide to be honest and expose what is going on. To rule correctly, they would in certain circumstances have many against them who want to be vaccinated, which makes matters harder still. Not to mention people who have already been vaccinated but do not want to learn what’s in the vaccine and discover they made a mistake. And all others involved are legally liable, so don’t want to find out either. With every passing day, as more vaccinations occur and lockdown measures and powers are extended, the number of judges prepared to risk raising their voice decreases. The guilt that these people have heaped upon themselves can no longer be atoned for within their lifetimes.  – Holger Fischer, German lawyer*

We have to mean it.

Any system can be brought into crisis. Resolution comes either in the form of collapse to lower complexity, or transformation to higher complexity. And while history doesn’t repeat, it does rhyme, and surely reaps what it sows. How could it be any other way. When it comes to the potential transformation of human culture via crisis, debt mounts and mounts as inertia resists. Consequently, cultures tend to accumulate unfathomably large debt loads as needed change is resolutely ignored.

The question is why we modern humans refuse so determinedly to accommodate this simple and obvious fact of life, despite having at our fingertips extraordinary amounts of information. I believe it is because we are children, deliberately kept children by other children who believe they are gods.

Because we have lost our way down neon-lit paths of comfort and convenience, deeply habituated ourselves to them by all manner of collective and individual self-deceptions, history’s correction will be sharp. But now matter how great they are, no matter how ignored, we will repay our debts because debts cannot go unpaid – uncorrected – forever. Systems self-correct, or are corrected, in the end. Each of us is responsible for our unique contribution to All That Is.

Free will is sacred. Penitence can be no mere tactic, however desperate the situation; it has to flow untrammelled and earnest from the soul. It can be no fad, no Next Best Thing, no titillating consumer item. We have to mean it. To mean it, we have to accept what we are. “Know thyself” is our calling, our duty. We have reneged on that sacred duty more often than we care to learn and the debt on our failing has come due. It can only be paid in the coin of penitence.

Debt repayment, in the sense I mean here, becomes wisdom through penitence if we mean it. Know thyself; understand your part in the whole that is God. To this end – which is no end but an ever evolving process – the courage to learn what love and intimacy are is essential. Though the detail appears infinite and we are wont to fear the devil in that detail – and then hesitate indefinitely –, the simple truth is that we exist to learn how to love … how to become love. And because Self and Other are simply two notions that unite All That Is into the co-creativity of Being, love is as ‘outward’ as it is ‘inward’. I have come to understand love as an emanating state of being – we might call it true health – that is as unconditional as sunshine.

Consciousness – reality, God, All That Is – is richer and more complex than we could hope to appreciate. Humanity – modernity anyway – stands at its foothills wholly unaware of the size of the mountain it is just beginning to raise its eyes to see, the mountain of which it is an inextricable, co-creative part. Historically, it could not be more exciting. One way or the other, we will move on, health will reassert its authority, correction is happening. The healthiest way through is courage, precisely the courage required to do true penitence. There is no avoiding this rite of passage.

My posts of recent weeks have been an odd mix, but for a reason. They represent one component of my way of self-exposure, of disclosure, of penitence, while also acting as a kind of journal of my perspective on humanity’s most important historical moment. And though carefully written as always, my attention to writerly detail is meant to serve transparency, not to conceal the (so-called) real me.

For me, honesty is as sacred as free will. Employed by a mid-sized multinational corporation for years, I suffered. The office politics, the ambitions, the recalcitrance, the hollowness, ate at me. I quit my job in 2011, followed my heart and ruined my career. This ‘noble’ act caused suffering to my family. The suffering I caused taught me, painfully, that principles are tricksy things. This correction taught me, in turn, that flexibility is vital, but that humility must be part of everything we do. Without humility, moral flexibility can manifest as cynical opportunism. Without humility, we close ourselves off to the new, refuse to learn we are wrong.

But for all I’ve learned and preached, I am still judgemental, still angry at The Powers That Be. My heart and mind know how interconnected everything is, but I judge others anyway. I am a human being after all. When I write about “us”, “we” and “humanity” as children, as infantilised, I genuinely include myself as a fully involved member. We are one interconnected entity of unique perspectives, each as ‘important’ as the other. I know this to be true because I also know we don’t properly understand importance and success. The measures we primarily use – status via money and property accumulation, historical impact, fame – are almost entirely misleading. It is how we learn to love that counts. 

I have dedicated my life to learning what love is and can report it is a long and winding road! There is far more road ahead than there is behind me.

Earlier this year, washing dishes at the kitchen sink, my rage at the evil I see unfolding all around exploded, and I speared it up at God. The response was immediate: “Have I not guided you to where you need to be?” My rage instantly dissipated on hearing those words in the corner of my mind. 

(It’s worth noting that much of what I have received from God is tinged with the most exquisite, loving, joyful humour, even in reprimand.)

To provide a little background on why I am where I am: I have been shown and have experienced physical miracles that leave me in no doubt at all – and I am by nature doggedly skeptical – that there is only God. As a rule, I do not publicise these details; they prove nothing to anyone but me. The strangest things happen to me, but I am their recipient, not their cause so cannot replicate them. 

For example, I end some of my posts with the line “Let all that is not rooted in truth and love wither and fall away.” It came to me – was given to me – during a particularly powerful, heart-chakra-centred kundalini event. As such, I understand the words as having come from God and feel obliged to share them, in case they prove useful to someone. 

Another example from maybe 10 years ago: My first kundalini event – I didn’t learn about kundalini until 2014 so had no idea what the feelings of ecstatic joy shooting up my spine were – happened in a dream where a tall, elegant man with bright brown eyes said to me, “Never forget: we are becoming one.” It’s up to me to apply my understanding of this and other instructions to my life, using my free will and wisdom, such as they are.

Of course all these experiences affect me deeply. They have germinated in me an irresistible urge to share what I am, what I dare to claim I know. I do not promote what I post on Econosophy anywhere, so reach a very small audience. But seeing as we don’t understand success and importance, I simply share as honestly as I can, and let fate do with my work as it will. It is of the utmost importance to me to protect what I publish here from any possible transformation into – or interpretation as – some kind of consumer item.

Cultural evolution isn’t up to me; it’s up to all of us, jointly, individually: unique entities, as one, rich in diversity. What I post here is but one part of my efforts, though all are aimed at inviting people to honour the sanctity of free will, to notice the corrosive nature of fear, and to explore the liberating yet dutiful nature of unconditional love. I share all of it with that love, and keep my expectations as low as my protesting ego can manage.

* Holger Fischer uses the word “Schuld” in his final sentence of the quote above. In English, it can mean either “debt” or “guilt”. I hope you can see how these words’ meanings blur in the quote’s context, but also generally. This fusion of the two English words within “Schuld” underpins some of the thinking in this article.