Monday, November 28, 2011

Nailed it Again! Econosophy Shouts, the IMF Listens

The IMF could bail out Italy with up to 600 billion euros ($794 billion), an Italian newspaper reported on Sunday, as Prime Minister Mario Monti came under pressure to speed up anti-crisis measures.
Of course, that's not a cast-iron promise, but it's a good start.

The last thing humanity wants is for growth to stop. As I penned a few days ago, what we're all longing for is nonstop growth of economic activity into all aspects of our lives, without exception. Reading my heartfelt plea, the wise folk at the IMF stepped up to the plate, and promised to Do What They Can.

A trustworthy source at the IMF I'm not permitted to name, said:
These are troubled times, Toby. After reading your words we realised action had to be taken. We hastily met in a meeting room designed for these sorts of things, and put it out to our friends in the press that there was money to be loaned after all. It sure as hell looks that way. What with digibits being as cheap as dirt, and zeros cheaper still, we felt the least we could do was sink Italy further into debt. There's nothing like the cold hand of fear to get things moving, I've found.
Asian markets surged higher with relief, Europe has nosed upwards with the glimmering vigour of a rambunctious dolphin, and the US is expected to be giddily euphoric now that fair Europa is flush with cash once more. Even I, old man that I am, have a new spring in my stride and am waxing lyrical again. Oh, happy day.

I don't expect thanks, because I'm very humble. A quiet life is all I ask for. With a little luck and a wisp of magic we'll all get what exactly we want very soon. Christmas is coming!

(You heard it here first.)

UPDATE (15:45 CET): IMF "very angry" with Econosophy, trusted source tells Toby to watch his dirty little mouth, and not to call her anymore. This just in:
Stock markets boosted by rumours of bailout deal for Italy, though IMF denies reports of aid package proposal
Nevertheless, the markets are aiming for the moon, riding the creosote fumes like the drunken old pros they truly are.


Debra said...

Yum !
Have you thought of recycling as a stand up comedian ?
You aren't timid are you ?
Take theater classes...
This weekend we saw two films : "Tous au Larzac" (everybody to Larzac" and "Les Neiges de Kilimanjaro" (the snows of Kilimanjaro). I'll get back to you soon on them.
Toby... when are you going to pull the plug on the media ? What you don't know.... will hurt you less in the long run, and SINCE WE ALL KNOW THAT THE BEST THING WE CAN DO IS TO LEAD OUR QUIET (but not desperate...) LIVES, pulling the plug (in all senses...) makes a lot of sense.
My family tells me that my laconic phrases along the lines of "a hundred years of merciless progress" borrowed from local anar people, leave people mystified...
Back for more later.
Cheers, my favorite comic without a butch haircut.

Toby said...

Bloggers with low readership can afford paper bravado.

No, no butch haircut yet, but the more like Crusty the Clown I get, the closer I get to butchdom. (That word doesn't exist, but it should. Wanna start a petition?)

I barely refer to the media in my day-to-day, but barely is not never. Ignorance is bliss, as they say, and yet for a man on a mission like myself, a little contact with the madness amidst the flames consuming Rome serves its purpose, I feel. Otherwise, I'd be in my own ivory tower, and I don't want that.

Watched (again) "Der Fuchs und das Maedchen" (The Fox and the Girl??), an amazing french film, yesterday. How beautiful this planet is. Sadly, enjoying its beauty is only possible for a smaller and smaller number of us, hence my mission, and my efforts to simplify my life, which may well take me and my family Elsewhere. Not sure where exactly, but the Countryside is likely to be our next 'home.' (All things being equal.)

Debra said...

Yeah, that French film is VERY NICE.
(But the countryside is nice.)
Let's hear it for blogs with low readership.
Who wants noisy party crashers ?